Phone calls I never thought I'd get.

Me: Hello?
School Nurse: Hi there Mrs Stegemann! This is Shelly, the school nurse. You'll never guess why I'm calling!
(The last time she called, Giz broke her glasses and was hysterical because she was convinced that they broke because she was whistling indoors after I told her it was bad luck to do so)

Me: Oh God... which kid?
Nurse Shelly: Emily wadded up some paper and shoved it in here ear.
*long pause*
Me: She, uh, what?
Nurse Shelly: yeah... she said that she had it by her ear and it just fell in. I told her I didn't believe that for a second. I got it out and told her I was going to call you. That's when she started crying.
Me: yeah... um, she, uh, I don't know what to say.
Nurse Shelly: She said she was pretty sure you were going to spank her. I told her she's not the first kid to ever get a spanking. She won't be the last. 
Me: Yeah... she's totally right.
Nurse Shelly: Well, that's how it goes sometimes when you do dumb stuff.
Me: Well, thanks for calling and uh, sorry.
Nurse Shelly: No problem... have a good day. I'll let you know if the other one comes wandering in hysterical. * I can hear the smile in her voice*
Me: Have a good day Shelly. Glad it wasn't headlice or something. Bye.